I felt I was the only person who did not look at my image every time I passed a mirror, every time I happened to walk by a reflective surface.
Although I had grown up in the business, fashion seemed increasingly meaningless to me, just an arbitrary way of selling a false self every month, and making people feel bad about their appearance. It was all about trends, not beauty: one moment everyone loved skinny jeans; then suddenly skinny jeans were so last season. I wanted to break free of this perpetual fashion show. What I really loved doing was working on my computer — upgrading it and setting new challenges to understand how to work it. I quickly became the go to person when anyone had a computer problem, although I never surfed fashion blogs like the other students. Reading PC World online was my pastime of choice.
It gradually began to dawn on me that I was in the wrong place, and everything I had been told about the right path for my future was wrong.
I did not enjoy shopping. I did not feel as if my life depended on whether I bought flares or tapered trousers. I wanted something more concrete to study: that is why I wish to enter the field of computer science engineering. I came to a realization about my lifes course in New York, but not the one I intended: I would leave New York, leave fashion, and pursue computer science.
At first, I felt ungrateful, because I knew many of my classmates would have loved to have had a parent already in the fashion industry. But then I realized, after living in New York City, a city where so many people are living, pursuing so many different dreams: I had to follow my own dream. I dropped out of school and decided to attend a community college, to bolster my base of knowledge for my future chosen career. Now I know the delights of studying something I love, with like-minded people. That is something that never goes out of fashion..